Reddit Tgirl Notes

So I have various sites I frequent where tgirl related issues are discussed. On one of them, yet again, I heard (read) the comment, "I have to constantly watch out for guys who are just interested in me cause I'm a trans woman." Something I've heard about a million times.

See, this has always bothered me. I'm a t-girl who has been around a l-o-n-g time, so I've heard this a lot. In fact, many (perhaps the majority) of my tgirl friends have said things like this at one time or another. It's like a reflexive, politically correct ideology which apparently is to be accepted without question. But to me it sounds like that old Groucho Marx line about how I wouldn't belong to any club that would have someone like me as a member.

Now, girls, before you freak out on me let's put our thinking caps on and give this consideration. I've heard the explanations, like, I want him to be attracted to me for who I am not what I have. Of course, by this logic, he might fall in love with a genetic man or genetic woman next because apparently he doesn't care at all about sex or the mechanics thereof. Is that realistic? Do you really want to spend your life being attracted to and perhaps chasing only men who would be repulsed by seeing you naked?

And not only that, what you have is PART of who you are and you can't change that. Fact. I know we're not happy with our anatomy but this has to do with acceptance of yourself, and acceptance of reality. It's a place one should try to get to before entertaining the idea of a physical relationship. Furthermore, despite the borg-enforced political correctness of not wanting a man who wants you as you are, it's a transparently ridiculous notion if you really step back and break it down.

I mean, turn it around: Genetic woman says, "I have to watch out for guys who might be attracted to me because I have a vagina." Dumb. Really, really dumb. But that's what you are saying whether you realize it or not; I'm a girl who happens to have a penis and I can't stand being with anyone who likes what I really am.

One of the first times this hit home was many years ago when a tgirl friend from a Washington DC area support group we both attended wanted to talk privately. She had a confession and she needed to talk to someone. In hushed tones and with a note of shame, she told me about a recent date where she'd been with a guy and they ended up in bed. They had doggie-style anal sex and afterwards he sucked her off. She told me how she really liked it - but she was embarrassed and ashamed for that. She felt like maybe everyone would think that she wasn't a real T* woman. I promised not to tell and have kept that story to myself for 15 years. It was both sad and enlightening, and I understood that what she said was true: Our mutual friends in the TG/TS support group would no doubt have ostracized her for her lack of sufficient hatred of her body parts.

As a tgirl I understand about struggling with personal identity and I know it's all wrapped up in that. To me, though, this is just a projected way of saying, "I hate myself and what I am so I can't love anyone who doesn't hate what I am, too." My opinion.

I know most of you will continue to turn a blind eye to this and some will violently disagree with me but I know what I'm talking about: Once upon a time, I had this attitude. For the prime of my tgirl life, in fact. Well, let me tell you, you WILL regret it, someday.

On a personal note, I spent 13 years in a living-together relationship with a guy who would fit the bill perfectly for tgirls who think like this. He loved me but wasn't interested in what I had between my legs. Just what you think you want, right? We lived as a married couple and he loved me - just not my anatomy. Result: I didn't get laid for 13 years. Thirteen fucking years. The whole prime of my tgirl life. Nothing. Not once. Not ever. You might think that's some kind of t-girl heaven but having lived through it I must say, no thank you.